Can Sex Improve Your Work-Life Balance?

Can Sex Improve Your Work-Life Balance? CJAD Live Radio Interview With Dr. Laurie Betito

We wanted to share this follow-up on learning about sex and the positive benefits it may bring to work-life-balance. Back in September, we posted a blog on The positive side of sex in work-life balance and Sex. It was a popular one, of course, as people are indeed curious about the relationship between sex and work. One person Dr. Laurie Betito, sex therapist in Montreal Canada, was very curious and reached out to me for a radio interview to discuss the topic further. The original interview aired on September 9, 2016, on CJAD Live Passion Radio AM 800 (part of iHeartRadio). The podcast clip is below for those who missed it live.

Podcast: The Positive Side to Sex in work-life Balance -
CJAD Radio Interview with Dr. Laurie Betito

Click the SoundCloud link below to listen in on the interview clip. For those interested in hearing more of Dr. Laurie’s Passion radio show feel free to check out her iTunes Podcast page here.

Does a healthy sex life increase our happiness?

About a year ago some fellow Canadians provided an answer to this very question. 3 researchers from the Department of Psychology, University of Toronto Mississauga, published a study in the journal of Society for Personality and Social Psychology. The findings showed that people who had more frequent sex tended to report higher levels of happiness. “Although more frequent sex is associated with greater happiness, this link was no longer significant at a frequency of more than once a week,” says primary researcher Amy Muise. “Our findings suggest that it’s important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, but you don’t need to have sex everyday as long as you’re maintaining that connection.” Thank you  to Amy and her team of researchers for offering more insight into this age old question. Last year, curiosity motivated TIME MagazineCNN and CBS News to all cover this, Sexual Frequency Predicts Greater Well-Being, But More is Not Always Better, study. Clearly, people want to know. My take away here is that it is not about the quantity of sex but rather the quality of sex. We need to be aiming towards “maintaining that connection”. I love that because maintaining high-quality connections is literally everywhere I look in the research which points towards building happiness at home or at work. Other people matter whether it is in the bedroom or the boardroom. Case in point.

Sex and Social Comparison

Another piece of learning that I come across often in the research I review is that social comparison is NOT the way to build up your happiness. Social comparison can have a pretty dark side, especially in today’s age of social media voyeurism. Example: Someone posts a joyful picture of themselves with a lover on a beach. Sometime after, peer workers see the picture and start negatively comparing their lives because they cannot perceive a way to be on a beach anytime soon nor do they have a lover at the moment. The intent of sharing and consuming content on the internet may start off as a positive one, however, frequent social comparison puts that same intent on a slippery slope, often leading to downward emotional spirals. Tim Wadsworth, an associate professor of Sociology at the University of Colorado, also researched how sexual frequency correlates with happiness. He and his team came to the same conclusion, that “Having more sex makes us happy.” What was most fascinating about his particular study was that they found that participants who thought (perceived) that we are having more sex than other people, were even happier!  His paper “Sex and the Pursuit of Happiness: How Other People’s Sex Lives are Related to Our Sense of Well-Being” also states how the opposite is true. “People who believed they were having less sex than their peers were unhappier than those who believed they were having as much or more than their peers.” The above quote came from the original source I stumbled upon at the Huffington Post. It specifically supports the negative, slippery slope, that social comparison can take. Our advice, focus on the high-quality connection (HQC) you are making during sex and disable the social judger in your head. If you feel compelled to compare yourself to others, do it privately, in your head, and make sure you perceive you are getting more than or equal goods in the sack. On second thought, be grateful that you have someone with you to share in that amazing experience. Connection is a beautiful thing!

Sex and Psychological Performance at Work

When I looked for studies relating to human psychological performance and sex my investigation started turning 50 shades of grey. It would appear that there are just not enough studies around the cognitive benefits of sex and especially not in reference to professionals in the workplace. Whilst many people would argue that having healthy sex and HQCs in the bedroom on a routine basis would lower their stress levels at work I haven’t yet found the studies. That is not to say I wouldn’t agree with the latter argument of course. So if you know of any scientific studies please let us know about them so we can share the news. Moving forward, it is clear, we need more researchers out there to pick up the burning torch and shine more light on this life-giving area.

SDT, Not STD, For Motivation

SDT or Self-Determination Theory and its application in studying sex, remains the most intriguing part of my short journey into the positive psychology of sex in work-life balance. Making sure we take into consideration Deci & Ryan’s, 3 core ingredients of Competency, Autonomy and Relatedness, may be our best scientific model to apply motivation in the bedroom. Personally, I am equally intrigued with achieving high-quality connections which correlate loosely back to the amazing work of Dr. Jane Dutton, positive organisational scholarship researcher. If high-quality connected sex once a week, on average, can increase happiness and happier people are going into work each day then please, sign me up! Hopefully, these discussions will also inspire some young budding researchers to give it a go and put sex to the test in reference to workplace wellbeing. Till then, be safe, be well, be positive and please, make love, not war. Read the original blog post discussing SDT here: The positive side of sex in work-life balance and Sex.

Enough about me. What do you think of me and my perspectives? Lol.😉Please, let me know your feedback or questions by using the comments on our social media channel of your choice. 

Much love, light and self regulation.


Always be Self Regulating

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