Secrets to building trust at work - Part II
Secrets to building trust at work - Part II
As promised, here is our part 2 of Secrets to building trust at work. This blog is jammed with trust-building behaviours that you can train with, on your own, or with your teams. We cover 13 trust building behaviours based upon Stephen Covey’s research from his book, The Speed of Trust. These behaviours are character-based and can be developed with the right passion and persistence.
Let’s get right into it shall we.
Behaviour No.1: Authenticity
Start off by being yourself. Many people are so busy trying to be someone they think they “should” be or, better, trying to be someone their boss told them to be. We are all unique and authenticity starts when we are true to ourselves. Being attuned to yourself and genuine about your motives all adds to being authentic. Employ clear communication in your words and your body language. Authenticity requires honesty. Leave your lies and manipulative ways at the door along with your baggage if you truly want to build trust.
Behaviour No.2: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha knew it way back when. People feel good when they receive respect. That feeling of deep admiration or approval for someone or something because of their abilities, behaviours, or achievements. There is also respect for one another based upon principles of kindness, fairness, and equality. Respect strengthens the foundation for which trust can grow from. It opens a very human connection that without, would be extremely hard to build trust.
Behaviour No.3: Transparency
Show your cards. You’re not at a “winner takes all” poker match, so stop hiding your agenda. You are at work with colleagues. In fact, if you must hide anything, chances are, it’s not what is best for the team but rather something your ego believes will advance your self-preservation. Selfishness does not lend itself to transparency very well. Act in ways that are measurable and can be seen openly. Train yourself to step away from illusions and cover-ups. Step into the light and lead by example.
Behaviour No.4: Make things right
If your gut is telling you to make peace with something, listen to it. If you are confused, ask yourself, “do I want to be trusted or do I want to be right?”. The ego is infamous for messing trust relations up for reasons of pride or selfishness. Consider apologizing or forgiving, depending on what is needed. Look for ways to act and make restitution in the name of trust and have a slice of humble pie if the menu suggests it to clean your palate.
Behaviour No.5: Loyalty
Act in ways that are loyal to a trusting relationship. This looks a lot like giving positive regard. Give credit where credit is due and share credit when fairness is applicable. Get into a habit of giving credit freely, to their faces instead of holding back your support and talking behind peoples’ backs. There is usually always something that you can find to admire in another. Create habits to be loyal to the promotion of others’ trustworthiness and they will be loyal to you.
Behaviour No.6: Deliver
Empty promises eventually bankrupt your emotional bank account with others. If you don’t deliver what you say you’re basically giving out cheques that bounce. Sometimes a lack of delivery is unavoidable in which case open communication and managing expectations will be beneficial behaviours. Just making excuses all the time will detract from your trust reputation. Keep a track record of when your delivery, celebrate those deliveries and share them with others as reminders. The good news, the more you deliver what you say moving forward, the quicker you can re-establish trust after a setback.
Behaviour No.7: Grow
Train for progress, not perfection. Continual improvement in building trust through learning, developing, adapting, and thriving. Make no mistake, others will notice your improvement. Remember, the growth is not for others, it’s for you. Feel empowered with your new capability to inspire trust amongst the people you work with. Be courageous and vulnerable to make mistakes so you may learn from them. Put in place formal systems to track feedback and respond accordingly.
Behaviour No.8: Face your reality
When a leader or manager is ignoring problems, like that elephant in the room, it’s as if a big neon sign is over their head saying, “Don’t Trust Me!”. Yes, it is not always easy nor pleasant to address problems but hey, that’s why you are the leader or manager right. Take problems as an opportunity to build trust by practising your trust-building behaviours. Lead by example and with bravery for the unknown positive possibilities. Facing real-deal issues can get to the heart of a team and create true synergy with open interaction and meaningful achievement.
Behaviour No.9: Manage expectations
This has always been a favourite Project Management 101 focus of mine, manage expectations. It is incredible how many problems arise due to miscommunication or assumed expectations. Be creative in finding the best ways to clearly articulate what is being expected out of your trust contract. Take in mind management’s triple constraints of cost, scope, schedule to build quality trust commitments. Have checkpoints to make sure you are still on the right critical path towards building trust with one another. Renegotiate together if need be. Change is a fact of life so trust will require flexibility at times.
Behaviour No.10: Be Accountable!
So, in Part 1 of science secrets to building trust at work, several of our Linked In readers commented on how trust is all about accountability. Yes, it is. I would also love to add that accountability needs to be objective. We can’t just go around marking our own homework if everything we touch turns to gold. I have witnessed this subjective accountability frequently in big corporates. The ego-show of those who come riding in on a white horse to save the day after a destructive event they themselves created.
Train to hold yourself accountable and those in your team. Trusting leaders and managers do this instinctively along with giving clear feedback for developing efficacy. Mist trusting leaders and managers are too busy pointing fingers and trying to win at the blame game. High performers want to be made accountable and accept responsibility.
Behaviour No.11: Active Listening
Quiet your mind and focus on listening. You may be excited to rebuttal but first comprehend what someone is saying to you. Just pretending to listen so that you can hear a breathing space to vomit what you want to say is not a good way to build trust. Active listening is part of self-regulation. Train yourself to genuinely home in and listen with both intent and engagement. Come to understand other’s thoughts and feeling through their communication to you. Practice paraphrasing what people say to you so that you reinforce an effective comprehension of the communication. You have ears to listen with and you also have your heart and gut to listen with as well.
Behaviour No.12: Commit
Ever heard of the saying “my word is my bond”? Well, keeping your word on what you commit to doing is the quickest way to establish and start building trust. Breaking those commitments or not even ever making any, are the quickest way to damaging your trust relationships. It is also important to recognize how different cultures react with different levels of seriousness towards keeping or breaking commitments. All commitments are important and if you can’t keep a commitment to keep your honor then be forthcoming and authentic about it. Ask for help to fulfil your commitment. Sometimes things are, indeed, out of our control. How we react, however, is always within our control.
Behaviour No.13: Trust
Action speaks louder than words. When truly wanting to build trust with someone at some point you need to turn the noun into a verb and act. Extend the olive branch. Be the change you want to see. Take another chance. Whichever way you see it, the behavior of trusting someone starts with the act of trusting them.
What about mindset?
Covey saved the hardest for last. If it helps, I did come across this article in the Huffington Post cited research from the journal, Psychological Science. The research suggested that when trust is severed, having a growth mindset towards moral development may be the effective way to go repairing it.
When you choose to take this step forward and trust your staff it is imperative that the extension of trust includes authority and resources. Trusting someone to be 100% responsible to deliver the work, but not trusting them with the required resources and authority to get the job done, is a micromanaging disaster. Not to mention a recipe for complete employee dis-engagement. The common goal we want to achieve is reciprocal trust in a sustainable and developmental way. Start with a little trust and throttle up abundantly with those who have earned it.
The counter-productivity of mistrust
In my experience, I have witnessed some very sad events whereby no matter what someone did to earn their bosses trust they were seen as untreatable. This occurs when the manager or the leader has been put in power without addressing their serious trust issues. I mean, how often do you hear during your interview, “So, how well do you do with trusting others?”.
For example, if I choose to not trust you then my brain biases will work diligently to scrap together bits of info, no matter how random, to make sense of my beliefs to not trust you. These types of bosses are the reasons why people leave managers, not companies. Imagine how one would feel working with a horrible boss, day in – day out, and not be trusted. To be made 100% responsible for all problems and be given no access to resources or autonomy to solve them. Sadly, some of you don’t have to imagine.
Final Tips
If you have risen to a position of power than you have a responsibility to keep that power in check. That means self-regulation and addressing any trust issues you may objectively have. How do you know if you have trust issues? Ask people you trust for feedback. If you have no one you trust, well… just sayin’.
Another benchmark could be to look at the above trust building behaviors and start being accountable for enacting them. You can always revisit The Trust Equation from our Part I of this blog as well. Once you decide to take building trust seriously, be good to yourself. You’ll be on the right track and even though the journey can be a long one, it will be very worth it.
What are your thoughts on the above trust-building behaviors as researched by Stephen Covey? Do you believe they add to the speed of trust in offices and workplaces? What about Charles H. Green’s Trust Equation from Part I? Tell us which behaviors you have used, and which work best. Trust me, we would all love to know.
Enough about me. What do you think of me and my perspectives? Lol.😉Please, let me know your feedback or questions by using the comments on our social media channel of your choice.
Much love, light and self regulation.
Jason
Always be Self Regulating
